:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Two words: blizzard sex
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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