I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
