Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize