He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How naked do you want me to be?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
