yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
