i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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