So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
