i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize