it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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