She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
