Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
