She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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