wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize