We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
