You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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