i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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