we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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