Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
