I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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