If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
