I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
