I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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