Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize