just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
