How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
