i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
