That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
