Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I want to make a zoo with you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So gin and wine won't be happening again
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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