Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
