'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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