you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am never drinking with the goths again.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
