thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
