The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
