I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
