my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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