i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
