I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
