so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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