Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
