porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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