WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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