all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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