I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
