don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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