Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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