Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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