soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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