ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
