Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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