are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize