So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize