I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
