that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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