is your mom at the bar?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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