I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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