her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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