Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
