At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
