Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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