Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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